Resources for Opening Up Your Relationship
If you’re considering opening up your relationship, wanting to know what steps to take in order to do so, trying to figure out what type of non-monogamy is right for you, or trying to figure out how to navigate non-monogamy, here are some resources to support you.
Books:
PolySecure and PolyWise by Jessica Fern - These books, by psychotherapist and researcher Jessica Fern, are all about having a polyamorous relationship while maintaining connection and security between partners. Polysecure uses attachment theory to give tools for creating secure attachment while poly, and PolyWise breaks down monogamous paradigms and offers different ways to look at polyamory ideologically, as well as ways to manage insecurities that might come up.
Opening Up by Tristan Taormino - This book offers information about different types of relationship structures, how to discern if non-monogamy is right for you, how to create boundaries and agreements, how to manage time, cope with difficult emotions, and more.
More by Molly Rosen - This is a memoir about a woman who confronts her patterns of people-pleasing and suppressing her needs through the journey of opening up her relationship.
Podcasts:
Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships - This podcast, led by three polyamorous hosts, explores all kinds of topics that non-monogamous people may face including jealousy, comparison, making agreements, expressing needs, consent, STIs, and more.
Multiamory Episode 450 - Polywise: A Conversation with Jessica Fern and David Cooley - In this episode, psycho-therapist Jessica Fern talks about how to adopt a non-monogamous paradigm and how to sooth anxiety related to non-monogamy.
Where Should We Begin Podcast: Polysecure - Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Non-monogamy with Jessica Fern - In this episode, Esther Perel interviews psycho-therapist and researcher Jessica Fern about how to maintain a secure attachment while being polyamorous.
The Wright Conversations: A Conversation About My Polyamorous Family - Hosted by sex therapist Rachel Wright, this podcast episode is a conversation with her and her three partners, who she is in a polyamorous family with. They discuss their family structure and the evolution of their relationship, and how they navigate polyamory.
Television Shows:
Wanderlust - This television show is about a British couple who has been together for many years and have fallen into a sexual rut. They decide to introduce excitement and new connections into their lives by opening their relationship. They find both joy and challenges in the ups and downs of non-monogamy.
Couples Therapy, Season 4 - This docu-series showcases psycho-therapist Orna Guralnik conducting therapy sessions with several couples. In season 4, she works with a polyamorous triad who is trying to find clarity on what each partner needs in order to feel secure in the relationship. They consider how concepts such as power, influence, vulnerability play into the relationship, and draw connections to past traumas. Orna challenges them to consider how to engage with each other in ethical ways.
Tools:
RADAR - This is a communication tool that non-monogamous people can use to check in about various topics including sex, finances, time management, household chores, and more.
Relationship Anarchy Smorgasbord - This is a resource that offers a list of various components of a relationship (i.e. physical intimacy, domestic tasks, finances, emotional intimacy, and more) in order for users to pick and choose what parts that want to include in their relationships.